What Should I do?

There are so many plans that I made in the coming days for "fun". I'm just worried that I won't have too much time to do what's really important to me right now. Not like I have been doing them recently...but the guilt is mounting on me like a backed up sewer. Smells like it too. I've skipped the last five classes for Kaplan. After spending 15 hundred on it... I mean I know I will make it up. But will there be time for me to catch up? I'm such a lazy s.o.b. Zhen thinks that I've given up for good now, just that I don't realize it yet. I think a part of me does...just that I'm not ready to admit defeat. It'll probably be the day after MCAT that I will.
Sometiems I feel like the world does not understand. The fact that I've never really had to study for anything in my life and now I'm facing something that will need me to hanker down...it's just all so overwhelming. When I get too overwhelmed, I just shut down. It's just the way I am... such a baby. :-(